Attached to the Hip

Attached to the hip consists of items that I couldn't live life without. Here they are, in no particular order....

-Chapstick. My favorite kind, and has been for 2+ years now, is made by Trader Joe's although the name on the green stick is Trader Johann's. Okay what is it with Trader Joe's? Is Joe a guy that trades his goods for money (should be hugs and high fives in my book...put that in the suggestion box) but these goods might not necessarily be made by Joe himself? Like Johann is a guy (or a girl, I'm not quite sure...kind of like a Pat) who is in charge of the chapstick department, and Julianne is in charge of the frozen casserole department, etc etc, and each thing gets the different name on it? I don't get it. But anyway, since I was in the collecting Lip Smackers phase, I've always had a stick or tube or container of lip stuff on me. And if I realize I don't have any with me, I FUH-REAK OUT. One time I bought 5 boxes of Trader Johann (he/she is one amazing chapstick creater) chapsticks, holding 3 sticks each, at one time. I think I'm finishing the last one now. Sad. But back to Lip Smackers, remember those? They had Dr. Pepper flavor, Strawberry Kiwi, and then they tried to outdo themselves and made sticks with fake gems on the caps. And then made them into necklaces and key chains. I hesitantly made the bold move from Lip Smackers to mature chapsticks like Blistex and Softlips. It's just, I can't be a mature teacher and pull out a bright pink tube with multi-colored letters saying LipSmackers, and a pink gem on the cap. So I retired the wacky watermelon for good ol' Johann.

-Gum. This is another item that, when I realize I am without, I FUH-REAK OUT. I am one that adores food. I like having something in my mouth. Gum is a big big trickster and makes my mouth think that it's eating. And also I think bad breath is one of the worst things there ever was. Well okay actually, I just really like having something in my mouth at all times. I will be blognerable. If I am with kids that I adore and who think bubbles are grand, then my choice is Bubblicious, but only for about 10 minutes. Then it starts tasting like a pencil eraser. If I just want mint, which is 97% of the time, then my top choices are Orbit and Stride. I am not a big fan of fruity flavors or cinnamon. So the citrus or strawberry, rasberry, etc gum is nast. Yeah. Nast. Gum is good.

-Earrings. I kick myself whenever I am on my way to work and realize I am without. It is absolutely the last piece to a perfect puzzle. It just brings the outfit together. And you KNOW how important outfits are for a mature job. If they fired me because I didn't have earrings in, I'd probably understand; I wouldn't put up much of a fight. I even like to wear earrings when I'm working out. Call me a girly girl, I can take it. When I spin or run, though, my earrings of choice are either diamond studs or pearls. All real, of course. JK. Fake pearls, I have only realized recently, are one of the greatest things. WHY would anyone want real pearls when fake earrings, the ones I can get for 10 bucks at Kohls, look just like real ones and don't even turn my ears green, or make my ears grow or anything weird like that? It's as though having earrings in when I'm working out is what keeps me feeling like I don't look like crap. I may be sweating puddles, my hair may be greased back, my clothes might be soaking, I might stink, my face might be red as a rose, but you know what? That's okay. Because I have pearls in.

Some others that I really really like, although I wouldn't freak out if I didn't have it on my person....

-iPod

-hooded sweatshirt

-my flower ring

So in conclusion, I would be lost without chapstick, gum, and earrings. Thank you and goodnight.

And a special holla to my new friend Susie, who I do not know but she reads my blog anyway. Now you're officially not stalking. Keep reading, my newfound friend:)