This is where the problem of my default face comes in. "Default face" is exactly what it sounds like. When I'm not interacting with people, or singing, or doing something with my face/mouth, my face goes, well, default. And I have this crinkle above my left eye and it gets deeper and deeper the more I concentrate. If I'm by myself and walking in the mall (which I do a lot; my friends don't understand why I prefer shopping by myself but that might be the 3rd VERY youngest child coming through), or looking at a computer, or reading a book, my default face is on. Case in point, I just thought about my face presently and my MacBook probably thinks I want to kill it. Well, actually, I'd have to say my concentrated default face is much more intense than my plain old default face. Because my brows are even more furrowed and my crinkle is deeper.
So this said, there are times when I remember that I have this perceived "I-want-to-kill-you" face and try really hard to hide it by pursing my lips together, or biting my lip, or trying to smile when there's nothing that actually made me smile. Sometimes it's quite a stress in my life, actually. Another thing about me, I don't laugh aloud at movies a lot and sometimes if my friends think the movie is funny and laugh aloud they'll look at me to see how funny I think it is and will NOT be satisfied to see me not only not laughing aloud, but even scowling at the movie. But I swear I'm having a good time. I just have a default face on.
Sometimes I think my default face got in the way of my making more friends in college. No, wait, it was being on the basketball team that got in the way. Oh yeah. Well, a little of both maybe. But I need to think about the present. I work in a school and I meet with kids all over the school during the day, therefore, I walk from place to place and pass lots of people. I think it's okay that kids see my default face as they walk by me, because they need to see that I'm all business (yeah, yeah, low bun is on), but when prospective Landmark teacher friends pass me and see that I'm giving him/her a dirty, I bet I'm not a friend they want to make anytime soon.
Sometimes, though, it works in my favor. For example, yesterday I was doing some shopping (NOT a successful trip for the most part) and as I was leaving there were 3 hoodlum-type boys (I might be generalizing...my bad) in front of me and the last one held the door open for me and glanced back. I was beat, feeling unsuccessful, and the important one: concentrated. And again, I was shopping by myself. Put all these things together and you get...
BEAT + UNSUCCESSFUL + CONCENTRATED + ALONE = DEFAULT FACE TO THE MAX.
So as that kid was walking away with his crew, he says, "Yo, that girl just scowled at me." Why is this to my favor? Well not like it was in this exact case, but I don't think anyone wants to deal with a girl whose crinkle above her left eye is deeper than really very deep. Be it kid, teacher, friend, stranger, hoodlum, burglar....don't mess with the face. The default face.
But to anyone out there who has seen the default face and is friendly and has judged me from that intense face I get, please excuse me. Let's be friends. But don't be sad when I don't laugh aloud at movies. I save the good LOLs for blogs.
LOL.
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