So as I was running earlier this evening, I thought to myself, "Self, my bloggers have been so good to me and I have not loved them back. I need to blog again. But what am I going to blog about?" Well, coincidentally, I thought about running. Actually that's not a coincidence. Actually it makes a lot of sense. Because of course I thought of running. I was running. Well whatever. Anyway...I have decided to give you some pointers on running. Do you remember my Coaching 101? And B's Coaching 101? I don't remember who started it. But whatever. Both B and I are officially certified through experience to give all of you pointers. As one who is training for a marathon, I feel like it's time to be handed the pretend certificate that says I can give Running 101 pointers. So, thank you for the certificate. Let's begin.
*Don't be afraid of running. It seems that many people say they can't run when in fact, I think they can. Yes, it takes practice to do it comfortably...but anyone can run.
*If you enjoy listening to music while you workout, then heck, put the ear buds in and go. Just be careful of cars. People have differing opinions about this, i.e., my father. But...hey Dad if you're reading this, LOVE YA! Anyway...it's important that you run on the left side of the road unless there is a sidewalk on the right side. Otherwise, there is only one set of eyes looking out for your life, rather than two sets. Unless of course there was a passenger, or you turned your head, or there's some random deer that can get in front of an oncoming car to save you if need be, but let's not be ridiculous. Just go with it. I am certified to tell you what's up. And your chances of living after your run are up if you listen to me.
*You are a runner if you run regularly, even if you don't have the "runner's body." I have had the hardest time calling myself a runner because I'll be honest, I've got a muffin top that can't be beat. Well actually muffin top is being nice. I do NOT NOT NOT have a runner's body. But I run. And I'm proud. And I guess....that means I'm a...runner!? Still trying to get used to that.
*If you want to invest in runner gear, don't spend loads of money on brand name clothes. I have learned in the past month, while running with Team in Training, that Marshall's and TJMaxx (actually I don't know the latter for sure, but it's the same thing so I just assume) carry some pretty good stuff for little money. Wouldn't you rather get 3 shirts, spandex, a sports bra, and some socks all for $10 than a headband for $10? That's what I thought. Okay fine you can't get ALL that for that little, but almost.
*Some ways you can look like a more intense runner than you really are....
-When it's glove weather out, or even if you don't plan on wearing them, if you carry one glove in each hand while you run, you look like a runner.
-You can also probably get the same effect if you stuff them in the back of your pants...but just make sure they stick out a little bit. I'm not telling you to just stuff them down your pants, period...that would be weird.
-You might get tired and it's okay to slow down to almost a crawl when there are no cars around because who are you going to impress? The deer whose "eyes are on you"? He's not going to do anything. That's why you need to stay on the sidewalk or the left side. Don't depend on the deer. He's probably actually making fun of you when you are slow as molasses. Stupid deer. Anyway, as far as the fast-when-cars-are-passing-you thing...we all do it, don't judge.
*Make sure that if you use hair ties (and I certainly hope you do if you have long hair), you have some good, strong ones. It's no fun to break it during a run.
*If you trip over your shoelace during a run, don't just get up and keep running. Because you WILL just trip again. And when you trip over your shoelaces again within 5 steps of starting again, learn your lesson and tie them tighter. Don't accept rides home from nice old men who saw it all. Rather, keep running home because when you arrive you will feel like a warrior who conquered a battle. Because, well, you did. Between you and your stupid shoelace. And the deer that's still laughing at you.
*YOU CAN RUN!!!! I dare you to try it if you're scared. Because you know what else? And I know you know this if you are a Deep Thoughts by Jaq Hubbard fan....RUNNING GIVES YOU ENDORPHINS!!!!
3 comments:
Sorry, but only TRUE morons run outside with music in their ears which blots out any warning noises of danger (cars, crazed deer, muggers, rabid dogs and used car salesmen).
Dad Hubbard
PS So nice to read your blogs again!
An addendum, if I may. (Don't be mad.) NEVER EVER EVER run with earphones in your ears. You are absolutely asking for trouble. Save them for the treadmill! Oh look, Dad already said this. I know, that's so annoying. You hate me. Want me to cancel my next trip?
Hugs and high fives!
Ummm... I'm not going to weigh in on the headphones debate because it sounds like something you should probably talk about as a family. Perhaps on your camping trip. However, I would like to say that I totally agree about buying clothes at Marshalls and about tying your shoes. I don't know anything about hair ties. But stuffing gloves in the back of your pants? What are you talking about? Do runners do that? I guess I'm not a real runner.
Post a Comment